beka stays faithful : thoughts on decisions

Tomorrow I’ll be training someone to take my former job at Anthropologie, so I’ll be working what was a normal day for most of the summer: opening at Anthropologie, closing at Breathe. 7am to 10pm for a total of 15 hours, or 14.5 if you count the half hour it takes to drive from one place of employment to the other. After doing that for the majority of the week I’d also work a wedding on Saturday for my photography job. And then I’d wonder why I couldn’t motivate myself to be the model of productivity on Sundays.

Now, there must have been a point at which I thought working three different jobs (four, if you count the weddings I shot on my own this summer) was a good idea. In fact, I recall being fairly certain that it was a good idea, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it. I thought that the challenge would be a positive one, the opportunities would be to my benefit, and the entire experience would result in the kind of personal growth that bestsellers are made of.

But I don’t think it was actually a good idea, because I only have fuzzy memories from the past 2 months of my life, and that’s never good. They consist of pre-sunrise mornings and post-sunset evenings. Lots of driving. Trying my best to talk myself out of being tired. Losing touch with the nouns that make my life happily unique – things like baking and blogging and exercising and football-following and friend-visiting.

Looking back, it seems like the decision to put so many hours on my timecard was not one of my best. It was far from horribly awful or life-changing,  just not one of the decisions I would point to when listing the Top Ten Best Calls I’ve Ever Made. But it wasn’t a choice I made on a whim. It was something that I prayed about, talked to family and friends about, and spent a lot of time considering before moving forward.

Consequently, it’s given me a chance to reflect on how I make decisions. How to tell what my head is saying and what my heart is saying and which to give the microphone to on a given issue. How I pray about decisions and ask for wisdom. How I listen after I ask. Or sometimes forget to listen. And how to adhere to good old fashioned common sense. If something seems like a bad idea, it probably is.

I’m pretty sure that most decisions are not cut and dry (which is probably why I hate them…I need something concrete!). I’m also pretty sure that there are reasons for my brief employment situation that I don’t know about or can’t see from where I’m currently standing. And I’m also pretty sure that wading through the outcomes of all sorts of decisions is an important element in personal and spiritual growth.

ALL of that being said (this was supposed to be a short post! I need to go to bed!), I’d still like to make sure that I’m staying faithful when it comes to decision making: centered in Christ, allowing him to guide me rather than trying to figure out the best plan of attack on my own. And remembering that God is sovereign. He’s not thrown into a tizzy when I chose Plan B instead of Plan A.

In closing, this, from Isaiah 55:

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.
10 As the rain and the snow
   come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
   without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
   so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
   It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
   and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

and this, from James 1:

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

And since I’m still up…I might as well finish watching the Jets/Cowboys game. I mean, it is one of the things that makes my life happily unique. (I’ll let you know if it ends up being a regrettable decision when my alarm goes off at 5:30am tomorrow morning.)

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2 thoughts on “beka stays faithful : thoughts on decisions

  1. Pingback: the dailies : 9.12.11 « beka stays

  2. Pingback: beka thrives…but not lately | beka thrives

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